When I did my weekly call this weekend, my father made sure to remind me in a belittling lecture that his wife's birthday was approaching. I really think I loathe all holidays because of him. Christmas has been a dreaded and unspeakable event ever since my grandmother died when I was sixteen (she had always hosted (and had also forbidden my father to remarry until after she died) and after that my father's wife took over). Father's Day has gotten exponentially worse ever since my grandfather passed away about three years ago (again, no more going to visit him in the assisted living home meant we were expected to attend my father's wife's hosting of all her extended family), culminating last year with my sister and I having our invitations revoked and then being verbally beaten for four months straight. And now most recently, the wife's birthday is becoming increasingly feared!
Actually I was only expected to call her but it's the attitude my father gives me that makes it such a demeaning and dreaded chore, one in fact that I just plain didn't do because I was so irritable yesterday. Well, I only seemed to remember the chore when I was unavailable to do it, putting it off further and further until it was too late. But then my father called my cell phone around noon today, which struck me as odd since he never calls in the midday. Like always, I didn't answer, but checked the voicemail afterwards only to hear that the purpose of his call was solely to know if I had called his wife or not, since she had not mentioned anything. Is it really driving him that crazy, like this looming cloud ready to pour down on him (and then subsequently me) at any minute? She's all niceness to my face but then my father unwittingly paints her as this gossipy nag that gets all bent out when people botch on social etiquette. Still in a grump mood, I didn't bother calling him back, nor answering the phone when he called again later in the evening. I think I've finally had enough.
I don't mind the niceties to a point because like it or not, we're stuck with each other. But I really think I'm through with my father's heavy-handed meddling. I plan on politely telling him off if he mentions it whenever we do speak next. And by so, I mean I just want him to stay out of it. (Actually the last time we spoke, I was giving him some attitude on two things he brought up. I don't think I've ever done before. Perhaps my crap mood of late will yield something fruitful after all!)
In my defense I did send her a card, which probably arrived a day late. I don't think I call any of my friends on their birthdays, nor do I expect/want them to do so for me. Of course such things aren't taken into account, as etiquette expects me to treat others with formality and not as how I want to be treaded.
(Yes, I had more important things I wanted to write about, but I'm too tired right now to think with the depth I wanted to put into them.)
Actually I was only expected to call her but it's the attitude my father gives me that makes it such a demeaning and dreaded chore, one in fact that I just plain didn't do because I was so irritable yesterday. Well, I only seemed to remember the chore when I was unavailable to do it, putting it off further and further until it was too late. But then my father called my cell phone around noon today, which struck me as odd since he never calls in the midday. Like always, I didn't answer, but checked the voicemail afterwards only to hear that the purpose of his call was solely to know if I had called his wife or not, since she had not mentioned anything. Is it really driving him that crazy, like this looming cloud ready to pour down on him (and then subsequently me) at any minute? She's all niceness to my face but then my father unwittingly paints her as this gossipy nag that gets all bent out when people botch on social etiquette. Still in a grump mood, I didn't bother calling him back, nor answering the phone when he called again later in the evening. I think I've finally had enough.
I don't mind the niceties to a point because like it or not, we're stuck with each other. But I really think I'm through with my father's heavy-handed meddling. I plan on politely telling him off if he mentions it whenever we do speak next. And by so, I mean I just want him to stay out of it. (Actually the last time we spoke, I was giving him some attitude on two things he brought up. I don't think I've ever done before. Perhaps my crap mood of late will yield something fruitful after all!)
In my defense I did send her a card, which probably arrived a day late. I don't think I call any of my friends on their birthdays, nor do I expect/want them to do so for me. Of course such things aren't taken into account, as etiquette expects me to treat others with formality and not as how I want to be treaded.
(Yes, I had more important things I wanted to write about, but I'm too tired right now to think with the depth I wanted to put into them.)
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