destruction

This isn't right for either of us. My heart wanders. His is filled with dependency, not love. I want my independence but cannot yet bear the loneliness it entails. I leave him in desperate limbo, clinging to me because he doesn't know where else to go. What's wrong? I can't even stand to be in the same room with him anymore. We pout constantly. All he does is sit there silently, following me, watching me, and when he can sense that it's getting on my nerves, he just stares off at nothing or gets upset with himself. I feel so guilty for wanting more! I care for him, I do. But I can't help him; it hurts. I can feel his fear. He's afraid of me. He is so bottled up within himself that he cannot care about anything. He cannot express anything. He appears so blank and empty, dead. I've never known anyone so completely uncomfortable within his own skin, so awkward. I can't help him. If I leave him, it'll crush him (such ego!), but is it right to stay like this - both of us so miserable together though less miserable than if we were apart? I feel like I have a chance if I break, but I'll never make it off the diving board knowing the pain it would cause him. It is not fear holding me back, it's the human sacrifice it would require. And I am so undeserving. If I were a better person, I would never have thrust him into this dead end.