Wake up!

I need to convert my passive interactions into active ones. I’m still not writing enough and more importantly I’m not challenging myself nearly as much in my writing as I need to be doing. Each journal entry feels like a rephrasing of the previous ones with only the mildest of new insights. I finally have the urge to be productive but I’m increasingly bogged down and aggravated by the complete lack of time I have to put forth the effort. An average weekday is spent with ten hours at my job (including commuting time and a cubicle lunch), seven hours of sleep (which is what I should be getting in order to be functional in the time I do have), and a minimum of two hours with self-maintenance (getting ready in the morning, making dinner, eating, cleaning, getting ready for bed, and other miscellaneous tasks). That leaves me only a maximum of five hours out of twenty-four to be productive. If I watch a two-hour movie, which I usually do, that only leaves me three hours. Typically I spend those remaining hours catching up on film related news, chatting online or e-mailing. No wonder I’m getting nowhere. No wonder I feel so hallowed and perfunctory. Weekends are usually my catch-up time but between being depressed, and then sick, and now going up to Chicago three weekends in a row, I haven’t made any progress in months. Surely I’m doing something wrong.