And now a break from introspection. Yay!, the crowds exclaim in unison.
I came home yesterday and soon realized that a gigantic fly (and my hyper-bug-phobia is not even exaggerating his girth! (unlike usual)) had moved into my apartment while I was gone for the weekend. I was watching the special features off of a DVD and there he plopped himself upon the television screen, walking about and distracting my view. I shooed him away once but he just came back as soon as I sat down. After the feature was over, I opened my laptop to do some online reading and the fly began to buzz around over my head, swinging past my ear repeatedly and making me skittish every chance he got. I got so frustrated that I packed up my surrounding essentials and went to move into my bedroom for some peace. But as I walked into the room I found him already settled on the wall above my pillow. I approached him, scowling, but the cocky little bugger refused to even flinch. Most people would probably have tried to swat him by now, but I rarely get bugs in my apartment and I always feel bad sentencing things to death just for privacy's sake... mosquitoes, wasps, and centipedes being the no tolerance exceptions. (I actually had a "pet" fly named Ferdinand in the apartment when I first moved in. As I was going about sterilizing the place from its previous tenant, he'd fly around to each room with me and sit on a wall or shelf quietly keeping me company. I was even a bit sad after a few days had passed without me seeing him and I found him dead on a window sill. I also had a non-pet bat named Barney in a previous apartment, but that's a different story that still freaks me out.) So instead of a killer slapping, I waved my hand about until he flew off, and then I settled myself into bed to get some reading done. But within moments he was buzzing about the room, circling and rummaging through my closets and clothes piles. Finally I got fed up enough and managed to chase him out of the room. I didn't catch him re-entering, though I went to bed soon afterwards.
I came home today starving since I'm too lazy to go to the grocery store and had nothing to make for lunch (and was too lazy last night to make a lunch... and too lazy this morning as well). I went straight to the kitchen to boil up the last of the pasta I have and sure enough heard buzzing almost immediately. It took awhile to locate him behind the blinds of the kitchen window. He stayed there the entirety of my cooking time but kept flying around enough to keep me paranoid. It wasn't until I came back to do dishes that I spied him on the kitchen floor. I grabbed the plastic spinach box from my recyclables pile and crept quietly over to where he was resting. Slowly I hovered the upside-down container over him, dropping it lower and lower until I thought it had reached a point where it would become suspicious to him. At that point I hastily dropped it up him and sure enough he was caught. Next I went and grabbed the lid and tried to slide it under on the floor, but knowing he was trapped, he refused to fly and instead remained on the ground where he might escape if I lifted the box too high. I waited him out, sliding the box over more and more so that the side would touch him and hopefully irritate him enough that he would attempt flight. After a few unsuccessful tries on my part, he finally started to climb up the side of the box and I quickly slide the lid under, closing off any chance of his escape. I took the box outside and let him go.
Yes, I'm a dork. And sadly that was the highlight of my day up to that point.
I came home yesterday and soon realized that a gigantic fly (and my hyper-bug-phobia is not even exaggerating his girth! (unlike usual)) had moved into my apartment while I was gone for the weekend. I was watching the special features off of a DVD and there he plopped himself upon the television screen, walking about and distracting my view. I shooed him away once but he just came back as soon as I sat down. After the feature was over, I opened my laptop to do some online reading and the fly began to buzz around over my head, swinging past my ear repeatedly and making me skittish every chance he got. I got so frustrated that I packed up my surrounding essentials and went to move into my bedroom for some peace. But as I walked into the room I found him already settled on the wall above my pillow. I approached him, scowling, but the cocky little bugger refused to even flinch. Most people would probably have tried to swat him by now, but I rarely get bugs in my apartment and I always feel bad sentencing things to death just for privacy's sake... mosquitoes, wasps, and centipedes being the no tolerance exceptions. (I actually had a "pet" fly named Ferdinand in the apartment when I first moved in. As I was going about sterilizing the place from its previous tenant, he'd fly around to each room with me and sit on a wall or shelf quietly keeping me company. I was even a bit sad after a few days had passed without me seeing him and I found him dead on a window sill. I also had a non-pet bat named Barney in a previous apartment, but that's a different story that still freaks me out.) So instead of a killer slapping, I waved my hand about until he flew off, and then I settled myself into bed to get some reading done. But within moments he was buzzing about the room, circling and rummaging through my closets and clothes piles. Finally I got fed up enough and managed to chase him out of the room. I didn't catch him re-entering, though I went to bed soon afterwards.
I came home today starving since I'm too lazy to go to the grocery store and had nothing to make for lunch (and was too lazy last night to make a lunch... and too lazy this morning as well). I went straight to the kitchen to boil up the last of the pasta I have and sure enough heard buzzing almost immediately. It took awhile to locate him behind the blinds of the kitchen window. He stayed there the entirety of my cooking time but kept flying around enough to keep me paranoid. It wasn't until I came back to do dishes that I spied him on the kitchen floor. I grabbed the plastic spinach box from my recyclables pile and crept quietly over to where he was resting. Slowly I hovered the upside-down container over him, dropping it lower and lower until I thought it had reached a point where it would become suspicious to him. At that point I hastily dropped it up him and sure enough he was caught. Next I went and grabbed the lid and tried to slide it under on the floor, but knowing he was trapped, he refused to fly and instead remained on the ground where he might escape if I lifted the box too high. I waited him out, sliding the box over more and more so that the side would touch him and hopefully irritate him enough that he would attempt flight. After a few unsuccessful tries on my part, he finally started to climb up the side of the box and I quickly slide the lid under, closing off any chance of his escape. I took the box outside and let him go.
Yes, I'm a dork. And sadly that was the highlight of my day up to that point.
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