"I don't think a despairing man can communicate his despair
because he is offering his despair as an emotional spectacle."
A sloppy quote whose orator is immaterial. I make myself a spectacle and that is why I chose not to speak. I no longer want this. Experiment for next month: say everything with confidence, regardless of whether you believe it or not. I pretend in the wrong direction. Delude myself until I believe it.
I am tired of mocking my own interests as my only means of sharing them. The insecurities of others are insignificant for I am only exploiting my own.
I am ready to speak once again, on probation though.
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