I am at a loss for words both in conversation and in text. I have been in an inexpressible huff since Sunday and only now (at 7am on a Saturday) I am beginning to feel myself coming out of it. ... I've changed my mind and I'm not going to detail how I got there.
I'm so lazy! My film and book queues are growing faster than I can keep up, constantly discovering things I want to learn about but never finding the time to thoroughly explore them. This in itself isn't unexpected (probably typical) but rather the rate at which I'm working through them is what I find so dismal. I keep getting sidetracked. What exactly do I do all day? I spent most of this week fussing about work, without resolution, and stuck in malls trying to shop for gifts. (So much for my goal of trying to avoid malls for a year. (Not just an attempt to reduce my consumerism but my irritability as well.)) In the interest of making more time, I've been trying to ween myself back into the habit of only sleeping six hours a night but this week I spent the first two nights only sleeping four hours each and then the next two sleeping nine. Granted that works out to an average of six hours, but I spent the last two days in a useless, zombie-like state. If I don't regiment my life into schedules and lists I wallow torpidly, but then I also have been trying not to live so methodically, allowing more to chances and whims. Ugh. The passion is there but the focus is vacillating. I've become completely high-strung and spasmodic.
Well, I obviously had nothing to say this morning but to rant in snippets. Perhaps now I can concentrate and do something more productive.
I'm so lazy! My film and book queues are growing faster than I can keep up, constantly discovering things I want to learn about but never finding the time to thoroughly explore them. This in itself isn't unexpected (probably typical) but rather the rate at which I'm working through them is what I find so dismal. I keep getting sidetracked. What exactly do I do all day? I spent most of this week fussing about work, without resolution, and stuck in malls trying to shop for gifts. (So much for my goal of trying to avoid malls for a year. (Not just an attempt to reduce my consumerism but my irritability as well.)) In the interest of making more time, I've been trying to ween myself back into the habit of only sleeping six hours a night but this week I spent the first two nights only sleeping four hours each and then the next two sleeping nine. Granted that works out to an average of six hours, but I spent the last two days in a useless, zombie-like state. If I don't regiment my life into schedules and lists I wallow torpidly, but then I also have been trying not to live so methodically, allowing more to chances and whims. Ugh. The passion is there but the focus is vacillating. I've become completely high-strung and spasmodic.
Well, I obviously had nothing to say this morning but to rant in snippets. Perhaps now I can concentrate and do something more productive.
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