The guilt complexes I enumerate here are only surface-level. Today I am seeing them in so much more: I am restraining myself at the root - in thought, in identity. My secrecy, which I had recently accepted as an agreeable selfishness, is much more attributed to shame than I realized. And it's not just in how I project myself to others, but there is a deeply suppressing, self-censorship which not only bridles my conduct (by this point having practically erased my social impulses altogether) but my ego as well (and perhaps the unconscious begetter of so much of my hostility).
Every barrier broken only reveals even more unanticipated weaknesses; I feel sick.
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We fight every Saturday he stays.
I laugh inappropriately.
Every barrier broken only reveals even more unanticipated weaknesses; I feel sick.
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We fight every Saturday he stays.
I laugh inappropriately.
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